addiction to pornography

Apparently pornography can be considered a social vice, much like gambling. According to Richard Beckett, a forensic clinical psychologist, porn and gambling have similar physiological effects, such as raised blood pressure and arousal. "For the gambler, the true desire is to keep playing. For the porn addict, it is to stay in the fantasy. Both aims are unsustainable because ultimately the compulsive gambler loses and the porn addict comes. Afterwards they feel depressed and guilty, and may even swear to quit. But later, as the despair is forgotten, the desire floods back and the cycle of excitement and despair is perpetuated."

For those addicted to porn, there are a number of 12 step programs to help cure you of your ills. Just Google for "porn."

fuck the yankees

i've always found red sox fans much more funny and entertaining than any other fan.

ah, the good old mastercard priceless campaign. it's timeless

isn't he just adorable saying hello to ms. a-rod? gotta start 'em out young. i can only hope to be that proud as a parent.

taiwan 101

Some friends have asked for a summary of the situation in Taiwan. To understand the current situation, one needs to understand the history in the development of the present government in Taiwan. Below is a summary, cobbled together from my classes in history and international affairs. I've also borrowed from other sources (CRS) so if you're a student putting together a paper, plagiarize at your own risk.

Final dislcaimer: this is for informational purposes only. If you're looking for a thorough background on the issue, there are plenty of excellent books on the matter. Go read them.

• The Chinese imperial dynasty fell in 1911 and the country was thrown into a state of chaos, no legitimate government existed for several years (remember the movie, the Last Emporer? a good cinematic history of the fall of the dynasty).

Republic of China

• Sun Yat Sen emerged as a leader for the creation of a Chinese republic. A government formed to fill the void left behind by the fall of the imperial government. This government, known as the Republic of China (ROC), moved along, led by Chiang Kai Shek (CKS) after Sun Yat Sen passed away. CKS was the leader of the Kuomingtang (KMT), or Nationalist Party, and was widely recognized by governments around the world as the legitimate government in China.

• At the same time, the island of Formosa (Taiwan) was occupied by Japan. Formosa contained its own indigenous population that lived under loose Japanese occupation for many years (I think maybe as much as 200 years, but let me confirm).

• The KMT ruled China throughout the 1920s, a period of time that saw lots of foreign investment in China, especially Shanghai. Problem with the KMT government was that they were fairly corrupt and therefore did not enjoy the support of the general population.

• The U.S. was buddy-buddy with the ROC because 1) U.S. wanted a piece of the trade that was going on (lots of $ to be made); 2) Madame Chiang Kai Shek was educated in the U.S. (at Wellesley) and cultivated relationships with influential Americans (as Wellesley women are taught to do); and 3) ROC and U.S. were allies in World War II.

Chinese Communist Party

• The backlash of this corruption was the creation of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) by Mao Zedong and Zhou Enlai (who studied in France and learned about Communism from real commies). The CCP started in Shanghai, at the time the “Pearl of the Orient,” the bastion of capitalism, corruption, and consumption; in other words, the most logical place for communist ideology to take root as a response to the prevailing status quo.

• The CCP found that its base was really in the countryside, throughout rural China, and responded accordingly. At some point, the CCP got super organized (with the help of the Soviets), armed themselves, and started a civil war in China in attempt to overthrow the ruling KMT government.

Civil War

• Throughout the 1930s a civil war was waged between the two groups. They called a temporary truce when Japan invaded the country prior to World War II. Actually, it took the KMT a while to recognize that the Japanese were a greater threat to the country than the CCP and decided to temporarily join forces to fight the Japanese. ROC was a U.S. ally in World War II.

• After end of WWII, the civil war resumed, and by October 1949, Mao’s forces had pushed the Nationalist Army off the mainland, and the remnants of Chiang’s government fled to Taiwan, an island off the south China coast.

• While on the mainland the Chinese Communist Party declared victory and established the People’s Republic of China (PRC), Chiang’s ROC government on Taiwan insisted that the communist government in Beijing was not credible, that his own government was the only legitimate government of all China, and that his forces would regroup on Taiwan and one day retake the mainland.

• For the next 30 years, the United States supported this claim with U.S. military protection and over $5 billion in military and economic aid, allowing Chiang’s one-party government (the Nationalist Party, or KMT) to consolidate its position on Taiwan.

U.S. Diplomatic Recognition

• After President Nixon’s opening to Beijing in 1971-72, and the major pullback of U.S. forces in Asia under the guidelines of the “Nixon doctrine,” U.S. officials came to view Beijing more as a strategic asset against the Soviet Union than an adversary to be confronted in the Taiwan Strait.

• On January 1, 1979, the United States switched its diplomatic recognition from Taipei to Beijing. In the U.S.-PRC joint communiqué announcing the change, the United States recognized the government of the PRC as the sole legal government of China and acknowledged the Chinese position that there is but one China, and Taiwan is part of China.

• As part of de-recognition, the United States also notified Taiwan authorities that effective January 1, 1980, it would terminate the 1954 U.S.-ROC Mutual Defense Treaty. This move prompted extensive congressional debate at the time over the President’s authority to unilaterally dissolve a defense treaty without prior consultation with Congress.

Taiwan Relations Act

• In a statement released December 16, 1978, the United States declared that it “continues to have an interest in the peaceful resolution of the Taiwan issue and expects that the Taiwan issue will be settled peacefully by the Chinese themselves.” Subsequently, the United States affirmed its security and other interests in Taiwan through the Taiwan Relations Act (TRA) and the continued supply of U.S. arms to Taiwan.

• The TRA still governs U.S. relations with Taiwan. Interesting note: it was essentially a congressional construct, enacted by a Congress unhappy with President Carter’s failure to develop more detailed plans for how U.S. relations were to be conducted with Taiwan after official relations were severed.

Relations Today

• The PRC’s burgeoning economy and sometimes assertive foreign policy in the 1990s revived U.S. interest in finding pragmatic and effective ways to deal with rising Chinese power.

• At the same time, Taiwan’s political system had undergone dramatic changes, including a transition to democratic political pluralism. The combination of these developments led to subtle changes in U.S.­–Taiwan ties, including deepening economic, military, social, and other contacts.

• Today, the United States is an important investor and trading partner for Taiwan, with U.S. markets receiving about 25% of Taiwan’s exports. Taiwan continues to enjoy Export-Import Bank financing, Overseas Private Investment Corporation (OPIC) guarantees, most-favored-nation status, and ready access to U.S. markets.

• Per the TRA, the U.S. continues to maintain an arms sales relationship with Taiwan, a fact that irritates the PRC significantly. Previous announcements of U.S. arms sales deals to Taiwan has provoked strong responses from the PRC, including military posturing and a build of forces in the Taiwan Straits.

Taiwan – Mainland Relations

• China maintains that Taiwan is a “renegade province” and expects the authorities in Taiwan to relinquish their sovereignty and submit to mainland rule. Observers are also concerned about what appears to be the rapid fading away of the “one-China” policy in Taiwan – the premise that there is only one China and that both mainland China and Taiwan are part of it.

• For 50 years, the governments of Taiwan and the PRC have embraced this abstruse political framework, and U.S. policymakers for decades have made reference to it in documents and statements.

• The “one China” formulation really appeared to unravel during the 2004 presidential campaign. Pro-independence supporters held a rally on September 6, 2003, demanding that the government change Taiwan's official name (“The Republic of China”) to “Taiwan” – a move Beijing claims would prompt PRC military action.

• President Chen Shui-bian also began to depart significantly from precedent in 2003 by referring openly and frequently to a sovereign Taiwan. Chen has publicly declared, “Taiwan is an independent, sovereign country [that] must reject the ‘one-China’ claim.” Although Chen continues to insist he favors the status quo and will not declare Taiwan independence, many observers see the distance from rejecting “one China” to embracing “Taiwan independence” as precariously short.

Bottomline

• Taiwan appears to be inching towards independence. The PRC says it will invade if Taiwan declares independence. U.S. has sworn to protect Taiwan if PRC invades. U.S. doesn’t want to go to war with China.

• I think that both U.S. and PRC are comfortable with the status quo, of Taiwan essentially enjoying independence and sovereignty, so long as it is not nominal. It is more important for China to maintain the illusion that there isn’t a separate country called Taiwan. To that end, they object to Taiwan’s inclusion in international NGOs, such as the UN, WTO, etc. Taiwan thinks they have every right to be an equal player on the international stage and some in the world agree. However, few are forthcoming with that sentiment because they will draw the wrath of China. If you figure it out, then you get a prize…most likely one that includes the words ‘Nobel’ and ‘Peace’.

how to poop at work

Alas I cannot claim credit for these gems. The following guidelines to pooping at work were forwarded to me. These are important and useful rules to consider, since no matter how much you may hate the work poop, it is inevitable.

A survival guide for taking a dump at the office:

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are other s in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an ESCAPEE, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be minimized with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT-OF-THE-CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is darn proud of it. You will often see an OUT-OF-THE-CLOSET POOPER enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the OUT-OF-THE-CLOSET POOPER before entering the bathroom.

SAFE HAVENS: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors.. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a same-sex pooper entering your bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential TURD BURGLARs. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLAR's that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON: A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.

UNCLE TED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Can spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.